The Scale is Evil

I have written about this before, but part of getting better is letting it out. For so long, I have measured my progress by the number on the scale. It is a daily routine to watch the evil, red number change direction. Down .5= good day. Up .5= horrible day. I have considered taking a sledgehammer to the stupid thing and just ending everyone’s misery, but I haven’t yet. It is really hard to just let it go. The number has been my goal. I have this set number in my head and until that happens, the non-scale victories seem unimportant.

However, that isn’t true, is it? The non-scale victories are the best part. I have jeans that I have not worn in probably 5 years that I have begun to pull out from the recesses of the storage closet. And they actually fit! That is a considerable victory right there. I have pants that literally fall off me when I am walking. My favorite Hello Kitty pajama pants will not stay up for more than 5 minutes. I am not quite ready to give those up yet though.

All this recalling of non-scale victories has really got me thinking. A year ago, I was a diet Coke addict. Multiple bottles a day sometimes. My co-workers would run out to get me one if I was having a bad day, and I would feel like I was going through withdrawal if I did not get one. I kicked my habit 10 months ago, and it feels great. I drink tons of water a day, which was something that I could never do before. This is a huge accomplishment…..yet the number on the scale means more.

I love Shaun T and the T25 workouts. It is my workout go to. A few months ago, I tried the Beta Speed 2.0. Basically, if you are not familiar with the workout, it is you moving non-stop for 25 minutes with no time to even grab a sip of water. Shaun T seems so calm, but, by the end, he is screaming and you are moving so quick you do not even know what the hell is going on. Legs and arms are flailing. I am crying. My heart rate monitor is telling me to please get it together before you are on the floor. But I made it through last night (there were water breaks involved and I ran to the bathroom at some point because I was fairly sure dinner was making its big comeback). That night a few months ago, I turned it on and went 10 minutes and basically said F-this! Last night, I did it! Heartburn, migraine and an angry belly full of dinner and all. Yet the scale…

I am a work in  progress, and my love/hate relationship with the scale is part of that journey. I have let go of a lot of things in the past that were not good for me, and I am confident that the scale will go the same way as the diet Coke one day, But it has to be on my time. When I am ready. For now, I will continue to try to see the non-scale victories for what they are: huge achievements. With that, I hope the number becomes exactly what it is just a number. It is not me. It is not my achievements. It is not who I am.

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